The Shadow: Path to Wholeness
Shadow is our psychic twin that follows us like a mirror image.
––R. Johnson
If we identify fully with survival personality, we deny other parts of the personality. These denied parts form our shadow.
The shadow starts in childhood, as we are discouraged from expressing our true nature for fear of upsetting others. To gain love and avoid the disapproval of parents and others, we repress parts of ourselves completely out of our awareness. We do this because not being loved would have risked a loss of existence at that stage.
Often, the shadow is seen as our ‘darker’ nature, something entirely negative, composed of the unknown aspects of personality. In reality, the shadow refers to all the parts of ourselves that we do not express, both known and unknown. Sometimes, we know them, but we do not admit them to ourselves.
The shadow holds all these parts of ourselves that we have disowned for one reason or another. They may have positive or negative qualities. They may be parts that we do not like about us or that we think are bad. It holds all our unexpressed feelings—shame, fear, anger, and guilt—but also our unexpressed capacities, talents, and creative energies.
There are treasures in the shadow. For example, a person who grew up in a family where rational thinking prevailed and such things as art making were not given much value may discover some artistic talents hiding in his shadow.
The shadow can be viewed as an unlived life. It holds everything that has been repressed over years of our lives and embodies all of our life experiences that have not been allowed expression. The narrower and more restrictive the society we live in, the larger our shadow will be.
We all have shadow. To be human is to have a shadow. The shadow is unavoidable, and we are incomplete without it. No one can be complete without shadow.
If the shadow is not recognised, if we are not conscious of it, the shadow’s energy can be projected onto others. That we disown in ourselves will be projected outwards. Then, the faults, qualities, and abilities we see in others mirror our own.
Our first task of growing whole is to ‘own our own shadow’. To be whole, we need to include our shadow. Much of the self-discovery involves gradually uncovering our shadow and accepting more and more of our disowned parts. Accepting these parts of ourselves enables us to become more who we are, moving into our authentic personality from the survival personality we adopted for survival reasons in our early lives.
By uncovering the shadow, we will regain many lost gifts—a new source of spontaneity, wonder, and creativity—but also our vulnerability and all unexpressed feelings of anger, resentment, and fear. They are all part of our story, making our path and wholeness.