Worry: A Habit We Can Break

Worry is the misuse of imagination.
—Dan Zadra

Worry is a lasting preoccupation about something that has already happened in the past or that we fear will happen in the future. Worry never deals with the present.

Worry can be powerful and persistent. It can run our life.

Somehow, we tend to believe that worry is virtuous – that I am not a good parent unless I worry about my children and that I am being irresponsible if I am not worrying about my business.

Worry is a pattern of thoughts, a certain habit of thoughts. It is a type of thinking that makes us feel as if we were reliving a past event or living out a future one. We may feel that we cannot stop those thoughts from occurring. They are characterised by the phrases “If only…” and “What if…”

• “If only…” thoughts are always about an unhappy event that we wish had not happened.
  The event has left us with an unresolved emotional feeling and our mind continues to try to resolve it, trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. Unfortunately, in many cases, because the event has already happened, nothing can be done. We cannot go back into the past and have the event turn out differently.

• “What if…” thoughts are about future events, about the possible bad things that could happen:

  • ‘What if I get ill?”

  • “What if I lose my job?”

  • “What if I make a mistake?”

Each of these thoughts is about a possible future event. Such thoughts can make us depressed or anxious, no matter how unlikely it is that such an event will happen.

Most of the things we worry about are things we have little or no control over. Agonising about what happened or might occur and about things we cannot control gives our power away.

Worrying is a habit, but like any habit, it can be broken.